


In Which My First Work on AO3 is A Naruto Self-Insert

by sententiae_bonae



Category: Naruto
Genre: Fix-It, Gen, Nonbinary Character, Self-Insert
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-23
Updated: 2019-01-23
Packaged: 2019-10-15 04:24:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,132
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17521949
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sententiae_bonae/pseuds/sententiae_bonae
Summary: It's all normal, every day life for Quinn. Until it isn't. It seems that something has decided that they are the right person to fix things in Fire Country.Quinn isn't in a pre-existing characters body and they're not part of a clan. Instead, they get to be a kid again- just like they always wanted.





	In Which My First Work on AO3 is A Naruto Self-Insert

**Author's Note:**

> While this is written as a narrative, it's intended for me to use as a guide so I can remember the details of the story I play out in my head when I'm bored :p 
> 
> So yeah, it's a little dry sounding. I figured I'd post it anyway just incase someone comes along who really likes self-inserts.
> 
> Who knows, if it actually gains some traction I might rewrite it like an actual story.

I stumble and my vision blurs. When I reorient myself, I'm in a strange room I'm sure I've never been in that's very familiar nonetheless. I stare, stunned, at the man sitting behind the wooden desk and he stares back just as surprised. Masked guards are on either side of him, armed with blades and ready to defend, but after several seconds pass while I try to process this inconceivable situation, they relax their pose. 

The old man behind the desk regains his composure long before I do and asks me something in a gentle tone but I don't understand the language, though I easily recognize it's Japanese. I have a sudden regret that I didn't stick around with my month long attempt to learn it in middle school now. I realize he's still waiting for me to answer so I shake my head and start to say something about not knowing the language. I cut myself off and throw a hand up to my throat. That was not my voice- I sounded like a little kid! The hand moves from my throat and I study it in front of me. This is a child's hand. What the fuck.

I force all my cyclical thoughts into a line: I recognize the old man, even though the animation in the anime and the real deal were very different. Before me sits the Sandaime Hokage from Naruto. Which means I am in the Naruto universe. I have no idea how I am here. I don't know when in the story I am, but it's sometime after Naruto's birth and before the Chūnin Exams because the Sandaime is alive but old. There's a language barrier I don't know how to get through. And I am not in my body; I'm in a child's body. I think those are the big points right now and I'm still reeling too much to dig through other points.

Conscious of the other people in the room but unable to just pretend I didn't just switch bodies with a kid, I briskly run my hands over my face and through my hair. I really need a mirror. And a haircut. The Hokage is watching me with a curious expression, which is fair, I must seem bizarre. A child appearing out of nowhere, unable to understand the language, looking panicked at the sound of their own voice, the sight of their own hands. I really wouldn't know what to think. I really don't know what to think myself.

He says something to one of his masked guards who dips a bow and leaves with a blur. Which was really cool. Seeing my first ninja move. Oh my god I'm really in the Hokage's office from Naruto. I swallow loudly in the quiet room and fiddle with my hands for something to do.

He says something else to the remaining guard. They nod and pick a chair from the line of chairs along the wall that I'm just now noticing. They move it over across from the desk and direct me to it with a flourish. Like Vanessa White. I don't even watch Wheel of Fortune. Aren't these Anbu types supposed to be stoic? I guess if I look like a lost kid they'd want to cheer me up.

I mutter thank you, then realize “thank you” is one of the only things I actually know in Japanese. I probably look way too excited to say “arigatō” because the Sandaime's polite grin looks a little realer than it did a moment ago. I sit down and shove away the immediate urge to squirm. The Hokage gestures to himself and says, “Sarutobi Hiruzen”.

That's his name. I know his name. I can introduce myself. This is a good start. Okay last name first- actually I probably don't need a last name at all right now, I'll just use my first, like Jiraiya or Orochimaru. Maybe not great examples but oh well.

I swallow against the irrational burst of anxiety I get, place a hand on my chest, and say “Quinn”. He pauses for a short moment, probably waiting for another name, then smiles politely again and says a quick acknowledgment. I nod and smile politely in turn. I feel like this has to be more uncomfortable for me because I'm the one completely out of place, but I guess this is pretty awkward for him as well.

And boy is it awkward. Waiting for, uh, something, I let my thoughts run where they want. Does English even exist in this universe? I should think so because some of the things are influenced by western culture and I'm pretty sure the name “Rock Lee” is from English. I hope that we're waiting for a translator or else I'm just gonna have to pantomime everything out. Ugh there's a scary thought. I think I'd actually start crying.

Thankfully, we don't have to sit in the uncomfortable silence for long because the first guard comes in through the door at my back. I turn around to see them holding a tea set and some kind of wrapped food. Aw hell yeah I don't even like tea but I'm a stress eater and I have so much stress right now.

The mask puts the tea set on the desk in front of us and hands the snack to me. Looks like a bag of chips. I use my “arigatō” again with an inordinate amount of pride and wonder if I should open them now or if I'm supposed to wait for the tea to boil because the Sandaime is setting up the kettle now. I have no idea how to make tea but I feel like that's a skill I'm gonna have to learn if I stay here. I'm pretty sure tea is a big thing.

He must've seen my indecision because he gestures to the chips and says something that I imagine is “go ahead”. Well I don't need to be told twice. I munch on the chips glad for a distraction and finally get to seriously looking at the room. There’re portraits of the other Hokage on the wall. Good to know Tobirama was as attractive in real life as I thought he was in the anime. Still a dickhead though no matter how lovely his eyes are.

Out of the big window behind the Hokage I can see part of the mountains. They are pretty impressive I've gotta say. I've never seen Mount Rushmore, nor do I remember any pictures I've seen, but I'm assuming it was like this. I wonder if I can play charades well enough to ask to look out the window. I decide to try.

“Uh,” I point to the window behind him, “can I look?” And make a half move to get up. That’s good enough right? How else could he take that? I guess maybe he could take that as me wanting to leave the building. Probably not. I wish I'd stop overthinking things.

He nods and uses a positive tone while speaking so I stand up with my chip bag and walk slowly to the window. Slowly because my legs are fucking short now.

That's… one hell of a view. Konoha sure is a pretty village for all it's worth. The Hokage tower is higher up and from here you could see what looks like all of Konohagakure, which I'm sure was an intentional design. I don't know how long I've spent staring in awe in front of the window but I startle when the door opens so it has probably been some minutes. My chips are gone too, pity.

I turn to see a middle aged man with blond hair walk in. He catches my eye and smiles and he seems nice. His eyes are also the pupiless blue of the Yamanaka which is a little freaky but I'm determined not to be rude. I'm pretty sure this is Ino's dad, Inoichi, because he's clan head and this seems like an issue for higher-ups but I don't actually remember him enough from the anime to know. 

Also because he and his daughter are the only Yamanaka I know and I would rather interact with someone I have vague knowledge about rather than no knowledge. Wait actually wasn't there a Yamanaka Root member? Fu? Or Fū? I don't know what the difference is with spelling and one of the jinchurikis is also Fu I think. Doesn't matter anyway because I've figured out that this is Ino's dad because I remember the shitty hairstyle- though it looks much better in real life to his credit. In the anime it looked like he buzzed the front and kept the back in a ponytail which was ridiculous but now I realize he just has some frizzy bangs.

I watch as he talks to the Hokage, about me I'm assuming. Maybe he's the translator? Maybe his clan jutsus can cross language barriers? Or maybe he's not a translator at all and is just stopping to chat. I won't know until I know. I vow to myself that I'm gonna learn so many languages once I get the resources because this is so anxiety inducing.

They seem to finish their conversation as he turns to me and introduces himself as Yamanaka Inoichi with the same polite smile the Sandaime was wearing. I wonder if they teach you that smile in ninja school. Anyway, score one for me being right about Inoichi. I introduce myself back to him even though he was probably told my name already.

He says my name as an acknowledgement. It has more of an “eh” sound rather than the short “I” sound that Japanese doesn't have (see I do remember some things from my learning Japanese stint). He turns the chair I was sitting in so it's parallel to the desk and pats it so I guess I should sit back down now. That's a point in favor of him being the translator. But he hasn't tried to speak to me in English or anything so maybe clan jutsu? Or maybe I really am gonna have to play a long game of charades.

He grabs another chair and puts it down across from me. He sits down, smiles briefly again, then I watch him make hand signs with great interest. 

Within the next breath I take, I'm in a space of nothingness. I startle a little and attempt to look around but I quickly find that I don't have a body to look around with. I just exist. It kinda feels like I'm floating but there's no body to float. Weird. There's also a sort of pressure around me, like feeling bloated after eating too much which I can tell is Inoichi. Almost like thinking it summoned him, he's now in front of me. Or whatever constitutes as “in front” when everything is intangible and fluid. I can sort of feel him there even though I don't currently have senses and I get a vague impression of calmness from him. Emotions probably at least partially transfer when one is inside another's head, I assume. But what do I know? 

When he talks, he doesn't really talk. It seems more like I'm getting the meaning of what he's saying without knowing what the actual words are. Which definitely solves the language barrier while I'm in here (we're inside my head and isn't that a trip and a half). Unbidden, I remember reading 1984 and my English teacher explaining that it was a common assumption that if you don't have the words to describe a feeling then do you really feel it? Does it even matter if you do and are never able to express it? Would this experience negate that theory? I feel like I'm still mostly using words to form these thoughts so maybe it's only the communicating that is intent based? What if there's a very specific word in a language and only that would encapsulate your meaning? This is so fascinating and I'm violently reminded of why I wanted to study linguistics.

I've also realized that I missed whatever he actually said and now he's just silent and waiting for me to compose myself. I can't see him but I'm reading some amount of amusement from him, probably since our minds are connected (ninjas are so cool). I wonder how much of that he could actually understand.

Even if he didn't catch any of that, it's still a little embarrassing to ignore someone. I try very hard to think of nothing and turn my attention to him. 

“Hi?” I say as a question. Just making sure it goes both ways.

“Hello Quinn. I'm glad you found this so interesting, some people don't take to it well, understandably. Would you mind telling me how old you are?” 

I could tell he wasn't upset by my rampant thoughts which is good. I wouldn't want to be rude to the one person who can understand me right now. And I suppose that a small kid wouldn't have read 1984 so he's probably a bit confused. Not that he's read 1984 either or even knows what it is but whatever.

“I'm 17. I have no idea why I'm in some little kids body.” I say simply. Simplicity is probably best right now. I know there's so much to tell him but I don't think I should drop it all at once- things might get lost in the info-dump.

He makes the equivalent of a humming sound and says, “I see, that would explain some things. Where are you from? We didn't recognize what language you were speaking.”

Oh then I guess English isn't very popular here if they didn't recognize it at all. Or maybe they're just lacking in the polyglot department. Or maybe I just didn't speak enough. Anyway there's not much I can do to simplify that answer so I think the next bundle of info should come with a warning because if he's gonna think I'm crazy either way, might as well defend myself before hand.

“Where I'm from is, um, pretty unbelievable and difficult to explain so just hear me out I guess.”

But before I can continue he interrupts with, “Hold off on that right now then. There's a technique I can use to let you talk to the others. The quickest and easiest option is to transfer my knowledge of our language to you all at once. It will be painful though, to force your brain's pathways to expand suddenly. It will leave you with a bad headache. I could also do it across multiple sessions so that the pain is lessened but that will take multiple days.”

Oh that sounds cool. Learn a whole language in no time at all? With only some pain as a negative? Hell yeah sign me up.

“Alright then, there's no need for me to stick around in here if you can communicate freely. Please brace yourself.”

I'm so ready- wait did I think that last one out loud? Has he been able to know everything that's crossed my mind the whole time? Does he know I think his hair is stupid? I feel like maybe he- 

Awwwww holy shit that hurts.

This is probably on par with the last migraine I had. Goddamn I need some Excedrin. Ugh. 

Slowly but surely I become aware that I'm back outside my head. And that I'm curled up on the floor. I must've fallen out of my chair but I'm in too much pain to be embarrassed right now. 

When I feel like I have it managed, I open my eyes. And immediately close them and throw an arm over my face because that sure is some high grade light sensitivity, geez. When I feel like I have it managed the second time, I creak my eyes open and squint through my fingers. Finally I see there's a cup of tea and some pills on a napkin in front of me. As much as I want to grab them eagerly, I move slowly so I don't agitate my head. I feel like a sloth. A sloth with a very large headache.

I take the pills and sit back. The Hokage and Inoichi are still in the room and someone else who I'm pretty sure is Shikamaru's dad, Shikaku, is here now too. He was the, uh, Jōnin advisor or something else high up I think. 

I roll over the new vocabulary in my head. Gosh this is neat. I have all this new syntax just… sitting there. Bizarre. Okay I should probably say something now that I know I'm not gonna start crying or anything.

“While I wouldn't have changed my mind, I may have underestimated the backlash.” I admit. I'm just glad it's not one of the throwing up kind of migraines. That'd be miserable.

“Most people tend to, you're far from being the only one,” Inoichi responds and then grins, "and no, I didn't know you think my hair is stupid until you wondered if I did." 

I feel myself flush and duck my head. Aw geez I've already insulted someone and I've only been here, like, uh, well I don't know how long I've been here but it hasn't been that long.

“It's alright, I've learned not to take any thoughts I overhear to heart otherwise it'd be broken by now” he says wryly. “Do you feel like you're up to answering some questions?”

I take my time before I respond. I feel for the chair behind me and slowly move into it while assessing myself for the answer. Once I'm settled I say, “Yeah that's fine as long as I don't have to look at you or move too quickly.”

“That won't be a problem. Would you mind telling the others how old you are?” he asks.

“I'm 17 and this isn't my body.” I say easily.

Who I'm assuming is Shikaku interjects with a question of his own. “Is this a younger version of your body or a new one altogether?”

“Oh, uh,” I hadn't actually thought about that. The skin tone was the same or similar enough but I don't know beyond that. “I haven't actually had the chance to look in a mirror yet so I'm not sure.”

“I can go grab a mirror while you keep asking questions.” That's Inoichi talking again. I hear the door open and close behind him. I sip the tea I almost forgot I have. I haven't liked the other tea I've tried but this is probably fancy tea and it's good enough that I could get used to it.

“Will you talk to me in your native language?” probably-Shikaku asks. I should probably ask what his name actually is just in case.

I pause briefly, then in English I say, “I'm not sure what you want me to say but I'm certainly talking. In English. And I wish I knew what your name was but I don't know how to ask.” Does he want more you think? Should I keep talking?

“No I haven't heard that one before” I'm assuming he's talking to the Sandaime here. “Where are you from?” And there's the big question. 

Okay so I did some thinking and here's the order I'm thinking here: 1) general warning that this is crazy 2) I'm from a universe without ninja or chakra 3) only after they take that in, do I tell them in my universe y'all are from a manga/anime. Gotta do it in stages for maximum impact. Or something like that. I wish I could break it up more. I like neat ordered steps.

But while I'm ordering it in my head, the door opens and I squint to see Inoichi giving me a hand mirror. Oh boy I'm a little worried, not gonna lie.

I face the pain and open my eyes more.

This is definitely not my younger body. My hair is black- no very dark brown. My eyes are now hazel. My eyebrows are much thinner than the think ones I used to have. I feel like I should stop there because I could keep going for a while. Actually one more: my two freckles are gone. I had one beside my nose and one beside my mouth and I liked those and now they're gone. Whoa wait but you know what's not gone? The scars I have. There's a couple on my face, mostly from childhood (I was a clumsy kid) and they're all still there somehow. I check and the ones I have on my hand are still there too. I'm suddenly overwhelmed so I put the mirror down and gather myself for a moment. It's hit me all of a sudden that this is actually going on and I need to take a breather. I appreciate no one saying anything right now. 

This is fine. Everything's fine. I'm not fully sold on this being real and not some fever dream but if this is a dream I should probably squeeze as much joy out of it I can. And if it's not, well, we'll cross that bridge when we get there.

I take a deep breath, hold it, and exhale

“No this is not my body but I still have all of my scars, weirdly enough. As for where I'm from, no matter how I say this, it's going to sound unbelievable so just hear me out.” I pause briefly to see if they had any comments but they don't say anything so I barrel on. “I'm from another universe. A similar planet with different continents. We don't have shinobi and we don't have chakra there. However we do have greater technological advancements, possibly because we don't have chakra. Or maybe we're just in the future compared to you, I don't know. I'm not sure if I count as an alien or not but if so, congrats on first contact.”

I cut myself off here before I can keep rambling about aliens and comparisons between our worlds. And to wait for them to parse that and ask the next question-

“If you don't have shinobi or chakra, how do you know of them?”

Here we go. “Where I'm from, this universe is the subject of a fantasy manga. I know about shinobi and chakra, and I know some about you and Yamanaka- (I stumble here with the foreign honorific) -san? And many others. You're all characters. I know it's strange- I doubt I'd believe it if I wasn't experiencing it, but it's the truth. Or, I guess this could all be in my head but then it probably doesn't matter what you think because you're me.”

Maybe I should've kept that last part to myself but I hear a snort so at least someone found it amusing. 

“Do you have any way to prove your claims?” Shikaku asks after a moment of silence.

Do I? I don't think these clothes have pockets, much less a phone or any other (other)worldly devices. But I do have a head full of information I'm not supposed to have. Which, I should probably be careful with. Knowing state secrets puts a target on my back, and though I don't think these three would shoot it, I know others would (cough cough Danzo cough). 

And knowledge of future events is just as dangerous because of the butterfly effect and all that. If I say everything that's gonna happen now, then they'll change things to the point where I won't know anything about anything. Which wouldn't be a bad thing if I trusted the current administration to handle things well but I don't.

I need info that some random spy wouldn't be able to get a hold of but isn't that important as to cause a catastrophe. I can't say important state secrets and I can't say important future events so what does that leave me with? Past events, personal information, uh…

I'm really not a common sense thinker. I'm more of a book smart kind of person. Maybe it's just better to ask.

“I'm sure I know things that I wouldn't know otherwise but I'm really not sure what kind of things would be considered proof?” I wonder if they think I'm a spy trying to get intel. This is probably one of the more outlandish ways to do it and “spy” wouldn't be my first thought, more like “hallucinator” but then again, I'm not a shinobi. Geez I hope they don't think I'm a spy, that would, haha, be troublesome.

 

“Do you know who I am?” Hopefully-Shikaku asks me.

Boy I hope I don't embarrass myself. “Nara Shikaku. Father of Shikamaru.” I paused to motion to Inoichi too, “Actually your kids’ generation is the one the plot focuses on most.”

“Then you know about events that will happen in the future?” Definitely-Shikaku asks. 

Good I was right. Now what do I answer here? He made it sound like their kids weren't old enough to have a story about them yet, but I could be wrong.

“Some of them yeah. I'm not sure what year I've landed in though. How old is Shikamaru?” I ask then quickly add afterwards, “Uhh, wait, do I use an honorific there? I do, don't I? It's -kun right?” My thoughts keep going long after my voice stops with I'm going to get in so much trouble because I don't know how to use honorifics. I can foresee so many awkward situations and apologies in the future. Everyone's going to hate me because I imply that they're a kid or something.

Thankfully he is more amused than annoyed. “Yes you would put -kun on the end of his name. He will turn 4 next month.”

He’s almost 4 so Naruto is almost 4 too (or possibly already 4? I don’t remember Shikamaru’s birthday). They haven’t started the academy yet and the Uchiha Massacre hasn’t happened (God how am I going to change that?). Does anything happen this early? Or, a better question is, do I remember anything happening this early? I go through the Rookie 9 in my head and pause at Hinata. Isn’t she kidnapped sometime around here?

“Um, so have there been any incidents with the Hyūga recently?” A little blunt, a little shaky but it will do.

He pauses for a moment then answers, “Are you asking about the attempted kidnapping of Hyūga Hinata 8 months ago?”

8 months ago? Okay so that happened earlier than I thought. “Yeah, I thought that happened a little later though. Poor Neji.”

 

I really did feel bad for him. Do feel bad for him because he’s a real person and that just happened a couple months ago. I mean he definitely needed will need a wake up call but he’s been through some shit he’s way too young for. 

Back to topic though, now I can’t use that as proof of my knowledge since probably anyone could know it. Which sucks. I can’t really remember any other significant events for a couple of years. 

Shikaku (or maybe I should start calling him Nara-san in my head too? Even in English, calling him by his given name would be a faux pas and I don’t want to risk that) restates his earlier question. “So if this world is a story, what’s the plot?”

...Ya know, I almost forgot these dudes are, like, trained killers and professional information gatherers. Of course they want all the info I have. How do I hedge around the fact that I don’t want to tell them because the current Hokage is kind of a dickhead? Well that and the butterfly effect, which I guess is what I’m gonna have to explain as my reasoning. Or… I could severely underplay the amount of information I have. I didn’t really account for the fact that they would have to take whatever I say as the closest they’re gonna get to the truth. Okay Quinn, be diplomatic here.

“I mean, the story follows multiple characters through many years so there’s a whole lotta stuff that happens. But most of it isn’t really that important, I think, and I probably don’t remember as much as I wish I did anyway. Hm, I can tell you stuff like Shikamaru-kun passes his first chūnin exam but Ino-chan doesn’t. And Asuma-san is their jōnin sensei. And he gets a girlfriend and eventually has a baby. Uhh, Neji-kun has some understandable issues growing up and is sort a jerk for a while but he mostly gets over that. Hinata-chan has different issues but mostly gets over those too. Y’all should really do something about that whole ‘Hyūga branch members are sealed so that they can be killed at any time’ thing. ‘Cause that’s pretty messed up.” 

I meant to keep rambling until they cut me off but there’s only so far I can think ahead so I stop there and look to the side like I’m thinking of more drama to spill. Which I am. I’m imagining a Naruto soap opera. Maybe I should make stuff up like “but wait- it wasn’t his baby after all- it was his brother’s”. Though I think that would fall through considering he’s an only child.

“Quinn,” Hokage-sama catches my attention, “is there anything you can remember that is pertinent to the safety of the people here?”

Okay, that’s about what I wanted to hear. “Mmm, not until the kids are actual ninja because that’s when the dangerous missions start and all.” I pause for effect here and furrow my eyebrows a little. “Sorry I can’t be all that helpful for a while. It is a kids manga after all so I guess they don’t really show the real important stuff. But I can work on making a list of the important events in the future if you want.”

Never before has my low energy and “hard to read” composure been so helpful. I used to wish I could express myself more but I have a new respect for us quiet kids. On that note, I think this is probably the most I’ve talked in a whole week and I’m starting to feel the tiring effects of social interaction so I hope they let me out of here soon now that they know I can’t really help them.

The Sandaime nods and says, “I suppose that can’t be helped. Nara-san and I will discuss your living arrangement while Yamanaka-san will show you around our village. I hope you will tell me anything vital that you remember.”

Well that was a dismissal if I’ve ever heard one. I stand from the chair, stretch my legs, and follow Yamanaka-san out of the double doors.


End file.
